All three major western religions Judaism, Christianity, and Islam have used their teachings to gain authority over followers, to create wars, and to suppress belief in any religion other than theirs. All three have treated women as less than men. Under all three banners, abusive and violent cults have flourished in the name of family, God, and country.

Religion and spirituality are vitally important elements in all cultures. Neither are intrinsically abusive. It is the misuse of power by religions and spiritual leaders that becomes addictive and leads to abuses. And it is the blind trust of those leaders by their followers that perpetuates the abuse.

Religious authority rarely permits questioning by followers, just as abusive and violent parents do not allow their authority to be questioned. The experience of arbitrary parental authority in early family life may make people more vulnerable to cults or charismatic leaders that manipulate followers for personal power and wealth. Cults can become a form of religious addiction, a means by which people recreate their family of origin: followers become the "children" and the cult leader becomes the parent who makes the rules, decides the punishments, and extorts unconditional love, loyalty, and obedience.

Lately, self-help groups have begun forming specifically to address religious addiction and abuse. Victims of abuse by clergy are joining forces to prosecute their abusers, even after decades have passed. These confrontations with religious authority require courage from the individual and the support of the community.

Much sexual abuse has been perpetrated with religious overtones, with threats of hell and damnation. Ritual (satanic) abuse is conducted through the black mass or other dark magical/religious rites intended to increase the subjugation of both victim and participants. Since millions have been taught from childhood not to question religious authority or doctrine, ritual abuse survivors have a very difficult time being believed when they attempt to get help. Denial blocks their way when they detail how religion or religious leaders have been perverted.

The exploitation of religion for political purposes is another form of abuse of power whose roots may lie in childhood experience. The United States Constitution guarantees separation of church and state precisely because our founding fathers knew firsthand the oppression of state-mandated religious practice and how it can lead to violence (i.e., the Inquisition). They were determined to create a different system based on individual human rights and personal freedom.

During the past decade, this principle has been seriously challenged. Religious groups have attempted to influence government policy against those with different beliefs. In some cases, fanatic (addictive) adherence to religious beliefs has led to violence: a pro-life advocate shot a doctor who worked in a family planning clinic; Moslem fundamentalists bombed the World Trade Center in New York City. Intolerance inevitably leads to violence, as history has proven generation after generation.

Religion becomes both a violation of others' rights and a form of addiction under the following circumstances:

· When it is forced, rather than voluntary;

· When it abuses trust for personal gratification;

· When it misuses power to exploit others;

· When it seeks to force behaviors on others through political manipulation;

· When it uses any form of violence (i.e., "end justifies means") against others of different belief systems;

· When it isolates its followers from the rest of the world in order to remain pure

· When it is a compulsive escape from everyday reality and used to justify abusive behavior toward family, friends, and self.

As children, most of us learn that if someone gets angry, someone also gets hurt. It is an equation that quickly teaches us to run away from anger. But John Lee provides a new equation: Anger, when felt and expressed appropriately, equals energy, intimacy, and serenity. Here, in Facing the Fire, John Lee shows you how to face your anger to examine what you're feeling, to figure out what type of anger has you in its grip, and to choose the best technique for expressing that anger. It is an invaluable process that can help improve your health and emotional well-being and enhance the lives of those you love.

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?

ISN'T ANGER UNHEALTHY?

Dr. Mara Julius, an epidemiologist at the University of Michigan, ran personality tests on a large group of women in 1971. Nineteen years later she re-interviewed those women who were still alive. She found that the women who in 1971 had showed signs of "chronic anger" and "long-term suppressed anger" were three times as likely to have died as other women their age.

A study published in the American Journal of Cardiology (August, 1992) found that when people with heart disease reconstruct incidents that still make them angry, the pumping efficiency of their heart drops by five percentage points. This is a temporary, but significant, impairment and demonstrates a direct link to anger and heart function. Earlier studies have shown that people who are by nature more hostile and irritable are as much as five times more likely to die at an early age from heart disease. Dr. Gail Ironson, a psychiatrist at the University of Miami and lead researcher on the study, says that the healthiest way to handle anger is to "express it with assertiveness, telling those involved that you're upset and why, but not in an angry way."

Suppressing our anger

Repressing it, internalizing it, turning it back on ourselves, swallowing it, storing it within us, inhibiting it, burying it, ''eating it,'' "stuffing it," can have catastrophic results for our health.

Furthermore, the very act of holding anger in itself takes energy-which is unhealthy because it leaves us less energy for everything positive in our lives. So when we hold in anger, we're tired most of the time. We fall prey to infection. We have problems performing sexually.

Finally, to numb the anger that is chained inside us, we are likely to be driven to addiction: to alcohol, drugs, food, work, TV, sex, sleep, or compulsive behavior.

Suppressed anger is harmful. Over two, ten, thirty years, it can kill.

Anger expressed appropriately, on the other hand, can actually keep us healthy. If you follow my suggestions for getting anger out of your body, I believe you will find your physical health improves. You'll sleep better. You'll have fewer stomach problems and migraines, reduced chance of heart disease, a stronger immune system and thus less likelihood of cancer and infection, more energy, and more intense sexual release because you're more in touch with your body.

Healthier yourself, you'll also have healthier relations with other people. You'll stand up for your rights and appropriate boundaries, and you'll defend yourself against other people's efforts to control you. At the same time, you won't be expecting them to fix the defects in your life. You'll give up trying to control them with rages or manipulation.

The bottom line' for me is that feeling anger and expressing it properly makes a person happier. I've seen this occur in my life and with hundreds of other people. When you begin getting the anger out of your body, your darkness and brooding start to lift. Your brow un-furrows. Your voice loses its edge of pleading and harshness. Your medical problems diminish. Your body gets looser, more supple. You laugh more often and more deeply. Your body, your personality, your whole being is lighter. Your spirit is freer.

You become, quite simply, more authentic, more actualized, more yourself. And more content being yourself.

Sounds good, eh? It is.

But it takes us a while and some work to get there.

A TEN POINT SUMMARY OF THIS BOOK'S THEMES

1. Anger is a normal feeling.

2. Anger is an energy in your body that needs to come out.

3. You will feel better-' 'Ahhh!"-when you've expressed your anger (literally, pushed it out)from your body. You do this by safely losing control.

4. Running away from your anger-burying, suppressing, drugging it-is unhealthy.

5. Directing your anger at yourself is also unhealthy.

6. Your anger is yours, and you need to find appropriate, safe, and healthy ways to get it out.

7. Some appropriate ways to express your anger by yourself and with other people are suggested in this book.

8. Other people will not always welcome your expression of your anger or other feelings, but you will often need to tell them your feelings anyhow.

9. You may be able to help people you care about, especially your children, deal with their anger

10. If you express your anger appropriately, it will increase your energy, your intimacy with those you care about, and your serenity.